Struggles & Triumphs
The struggles
Nobody tells you about the hard parts
Everyone asks how the baby is doing. Fewer people ask how the parents are doing. These are the things new parents tell us they wish someone had said out loud.
The sleepless nights
Exhaustion is real, and it changes how everything feels. You are not failing — you are tired.
Feeling on the sidelines
Many dads quietly feel like an outsider to the bond between mom and baby. There is a place for you on the team.
A relationship under pressure
Two tired people, one tiny boss. Strain is common — and kindness, patience and teamwork go a long way.
Missing your old self
Grieving the old rhythm of life while loving the new one is normal. Both can be true.
The triumphs
The small wins are the big ones
You don't have to be perfect. You have to be present, a little proactive, and willing to keep showing up. That's where the triumphs live.
- The first time the baby falls asleep on your chest.
- Bringing her water and a snack before she has to ask.
- Saying “you’re doing an incredible job” — and meaning it.
- Guarding the door so she can finally rest.
The fourth trimester, survived
Pit Crew Dad
A Field Guide to Taking Care of Mom After the Baby Arrives
Snacks. Sleep. Velvet ropes. (Mostly snacks.)
Our ebook for new dads
A practical, a-bit-goofy field guide to the first three months after birth — built on one serious idea: when mom is taken care of, the whole family does better.
What's inside
- 1.Healing Is Her Full-Time Job
- 2.The 3 A.M. Pit Stop
- 3.Operation: Run the House
- 4.Feeding: A Team Sport
- 5.Bouncer of the Visitor Velvet Rope
- 6.How’s She Doing? (No, Really.)
- 7.Rookie Mistakes
- 8.When It’s More Than the Baby Blues
- 9.Tiny Things, Huge Points
- + Printable: The Daily Pit Stop
- + Printable: Our Game Plan
- + Printable: Gifts for Mom (Coupons)
- + Your Own Oxygen Mask
General, non-medical encouragement. Not a substitute for care from her doctor, midwife or other healthcare provider.
When it's more than the baby blues
You don't have to carry it alone
Moms and dads can both struggle after a baby arrives. Telling one person is a strong first step. If you or your partner need support, these free US lines are there. In an emergency, call 911.